My Scuba Diving Story: STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!

by Paul Ross
(Sale Victoria, Australia)


FIRST INTRODUCTORY SCUBA DIVE on the Great Barrier Reef.


Whilst Instructor is taking time to calm down a newby scardy diver, I thought I would just say hi to my wife on the glass bottomed boat (side glass really). Anyhow I quickly broke away, swam over to the tourist boat and dove down to the window, took out my regulator and began pulling faces as if in trouble and holding my throat as I blew bubbles--then waved goodbye as I quickly swam back, on the surface, to the dive group hanging round the giant Grouper.

After my dive and shower I went back to the tourist boat and found a big panic on as a bunch of Orientals had reported a diver in trouble and were pointing down and trying to describe in very broken English what they had seen.

No-one seemed to understand them--but I knew it had been me.

A few minutes later I caught up with the wife. I asked if she had thought it funny. She had no idea what I was talking about---since she had been on THE OTHER boat!!!!

I told you that to tell you this:

10 dives later I had decided to swim in the Melbourne Aquarium to face the natural fear of sharks(I loved it).

Anyhow I was bored waiting for the new divers to catch up so I began entertaining the tourists through the viewing windows by somersaulting, standing on my head and pointing out the sharks and rays passing. Thinking to do my drowning diver stunt again, I recalled my last embarrassing experience and decided to check if my friends were on the other side filming as planned.

Lo and behold I saw some Maori's, so decided to do the Hakka for them (I then took pictures through the window of the Maoris) and then did my best imitation of their famous challenge--with tongue out, kneeling down and slapping the chest like some Maori "All Black' rugby player, finally waving goodbye as my buddies caught up for the final part of the dive.

When the pictures were downloaded onto my computer, lo and behold---------They were obviously Pakistani or Indian and NOT Maori!!!---Stupid stupid stupid.

Needless to say I have stopped showing off the last 50 dives. If YOU were that Indian or Pakistani---SO Sorry, Please forgive.

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